Tim Hortons to open in Afghanistan. Canadian soldiers asked to be really careful at the drive-thru.

Cruise the seven seas, be sexually molested. Or perhaps simply disappear.

Google plans world domination through mind control. From space.

Michael Jackson thinks if he does 300 push-ups a day he'll be macho enough for people to stop calling him weird and start buying his albums.

Playstation advertising poster advises "take a running jump" on station platform (with pic).

Scientists have developed a sensing device to indicate when UFOs are present. Old method of waking up with no memory and a sore ass determined to be unreliable.

Photoshop this strange, angular rock formation.

Saskatchewan newspaper prints cartoon of Jesus preforming oral sex -- 20 people revolt.